Guide to Moral Living in Examples: The World's Best

"Here's the world's greatest guitar, but don't play the sixth string," said Mossito, the world's greatest guitar maker.

"Why not?" asked Buzz, the world's worst guitar player. He was, however, very talented at teasing his hair into the world's best birds nest, and finding the world's worst suits at any thrift store that he entered.

"Because that string plays the world's most heartbreaking note."

"Hunh." Buzz threw the strap over his shoulder, which knocked more than a few sequins off of his blazer. They joined the small puddle that had accumulated at his feet. "Sounds like it'll be perfect for my song about how my baby left me for the world's biggest asshole."

"Don't-" Mossito tried to cry, but was cut short as Buzz twanged the string. Mossito began sobbing. He fell to his knees and pulled at his crown of grey hair.

"What's the problem?" Buzz asked. "Oh, the note? How about this!?"

And Buzz bent the world's most heartbreaking note into the world's most badass note. Mossito involuntarily threw up the horns.

"Righteous," Buzz said.

Then the world's most delicate guitar string snapped, and neither note was ever heard by human ears again.

Buzz took that as a sign. He sold all of his gear and went to school to become a hairdresser, and went on to create the world's best hair styles.

The Moral: superlatives are the best things in the world

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