Guide to Moral Living in Examples: Hank Rockjaw in 200 Pounds of Destruction! Part 1

"Watch out, kid!" Hank Rockjaw yelled. He plucked the child from the passenger seat and threw him into a web of lianas hanging from flora in the jungle.

The tires of the jeep hit a long, angled stone jutting out of the ground like a stray tooth and the vehicle went airborne. Hank tucked and rolled out of the side while it arced through the air like a snub-nosed ballistic missile and collided with an enormous tank of explosives. The entire Nazi military base exploded in a black, greasy cloud.

Hank plucked the child out of the lianas.

"You okay, kid?" he asked.

"Yes, Mr. Hank!" the kid said.

"I don't think that those Nazis will be kidnapping any more children," Hank said.

Amidst the gentle crackling of a ruined military base in flames and the ever-present howl of fauna in the jungle, Hank's satellite phone rang.

"Hello? No, Sonia, I haven't forgotten about your party for the ambassador tonight. I'll be on the next plane out of the Amazon."

The Moral: Don't throw a child from your vehicle into a stand of conifers, because that's just mean.

Continued here!

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