Guide to Moral Living in Examples: Expired Medicine

Stanley turned on his bathroom faucet and an evil ghost came out.

Its evil eyebrows hung low over two evil eyes, and together with its evil mouth it formed an evil grimace. It had no nose, but if it had, that would have been evil as well.

"I am hungry! And here is a delicious man to eat!"

"How do you know that I'm delicious?" asked Stanley, not as a way to escape getting eaten but because he was curious if he was.

"You look delicious!" the ghost moved in close, and stretched out its evil hands. Its evil, ghostly fingers wrapped around Stanley's biceps and pulled him in close to the ghost's evil teeth.

Then the ghost had an altogether neutral sneeze. Right into Stanley's face.

Stanley reached for a bath towel to wipe away the ectoplasm as the ghost continued to sneeze. The ghost ripped the entire roll of toilet paper off of the metal holder, and began to blow his nose. The toilet paper was destroyed in two passes. Searching the room, the ghost snagged a roll of paper towels and obliterated them in three sneezes.

Stanley felt bad for the ghost, and offered his towel.

The ghost took it and began to blow holes through it with mighty sneeze after mighty, unaligned sneeze.

"I have something that might help you," Stanley said. He reached into the cabinet and pulled out a bottle of allergy medicine.

"Ack! Don't you know that medicine hurts ghosts?!"

"Not if it's expired!" Stanley said. He showed the ghost the expiration date, right beneath the label that read "take before date printed below or contact our customer service number for a discount on tombstones." A tyrannosaurus could not have safely taken the medicine.

The ghost popped the entire bottle in its mouth and chewed.

"My allergies are gone!" the ghost said. "Now I'll be able to taste you when I eat you!"

Stanley nodded. The ghost bit him.

The ghost gagged, threw up, and then died.

Stanley had just gotten back from the doctor, and was full of fresh medicine.

The Moral: you don't know if you're delicious or not until it is too late.

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